Rice Owls Club Baseball

Owls Sweep Lamar!
April 11, 2016, 4:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The Owls traveled to luxurious Beaumont, TX this past weekend to face a much improved Lamar team at a prime baseball location next to a large chemical plant. After a brief game of fungo golf and a meeting with the umpires where they claimed Jacob Song’s (’19 Wiess) face was killing them, the team was ready to play some baseball. The Lamar pitcher claimed he blew out his elbow the week before and lobbed the ball into the zone, of which the Owls hitters took great advantage. The Owls crushed the ball throughout the game, highlighted by a home run by Chris Thomas (’18 Wiess), who proceeded to strikeout 6 times in a row after this game, en route to score 14 runs. Thomas also started the first game, going five innings with one run to pick up the complete game win 14-1.

The next game was started by Will Bower (’18 Duncan) who pitched 2 innings and gave up 4 runs. The Rice hitters didn’t get discouraged and climbed back to a 4-4 tie, with Sam Zapp (’18 McMurtry) hitting a grand slam to pull ahead 8-4. Henry Lanear (’19 Hanszen) relieved 3 innings and Daniel Weinberg (’19 Wiess) pitched the tense final two to help preserve Rice’s lead. The game ended 9-8 for another Rice win.

The Saturday games were very quick, so the Rice team had an entire afternoon available for their leisure. The team decided to go to Sonic for drinks/snacks then visit the greatest amusement center in Beaumont; Colorado Canyon. Three separate games of putt-putt golf were played in games more dramatic than the recent masters. Club alumni and coach Jake Hernandez (’15 Sid Richardson) had the best score of the afternoon, shooting two over par on the “Durango” course, while Travis Guzzardo (’16 Sid Richardson) and Chris Thomas won their respective groups. Thomas fended off Perry Goldstein’s (’18 Wiess) late charge with a few lucky bounces off rocks and clutch putting, maintaining par on the final holes to win, unlike Jordan Spieth in his recent performance. The worst performance of the afternoon was Daniel Weinberg’s 26 over par performance.

After dinner at a local Mexican food chain, the team played the wondrous sport of hockey late into the night. After exerting themselves so hard that a few team members felt sick to their stomach, the team made a late night trip to Waffle House™ to refuel for Sunday’s game. There we had a wonderful waitress named “Cristina Salesperson” who treated us so well that we decided to change the name of the group chat for her. On the walk back to the hotel, a kind stranger lingering outside of the Waffle House™ wished upon us “a busload of bitches.” What a nice guy.

The Owls arrived fresh and rejuvenated for Sunday morning’s surprisingly windy game, just to realize they had misplaced a bag full of the team’s gear. Fortunately, a virtuous stranger with a big truck showed up midway through the game to drop off the bag with all of the approximately $800 dollars worth of equipment intact. Sam Zapp started the game and went 5 strong innings, giving up 6 runs. Once again, the Rice bats were extremely hot, scoring 14 runs again, highlighted by Sanjiv Gopalkrishnan’s (’17 McMurtry) home run and Travis “Notorious OBP” Guzzardo’s 1.000 OBP on the day. The Owls won 14-7 after a 2 inning relief appearance by Daniel Weinberg to complete the sweep.

The fungo golf games over the weekend were just as exciting as the rest of the weekend. The first game involved a close battle throughout multiple baseball fields between Chris Thomas and Pax Kaplan-Sherman (’18 McMurtry). Pax tied the game on the final shot of the regular course, forcing a one hole playoff, which he won due to his superior driving capabilities compared to Chris Thomas and his tiny bat. The second and final game of the weekend featured a longer course than normal with some interesting obstacles, including a playground with children playing on it. Chris Thomas maintained a one hole lead over Perry going into the final hole, which he maintained due to an impressive drive. This was his first fungo golf win after three playoff holes against Pax. It is now a 6-way race for second place.

2015-2016 Fungo Golf Leaderboard

Pax- 9 wins

Kenan, Perry, Travis, David, Sanjiv, Chris- 1 win

Everybody else- 0 wins.

The Owls are now looking to seep the Texas A&M Corps Cadets to make the playoffs.

Noteworthy- After this game, Rice has 6 home runs on the year, a club record (I don’t actually know that I am just assuming that’s true)……..Craig Broadman (’19 McMurtry) actually could hit again with his new glasses…….…The Lamar first baseman/coach, who we nicknamed “touchy” due to his physical affection to our team and game of footsie with Will, claimed that Chris Thomas looked like rapper Lil’ Dicky without the beard, which was very inaccurate in my opinion………We also gave many of the other Lamar players nicknames including “Underarmour rat”, “Bunter Pence”, “Red Robin”, “13 shades of gray”, and “Buckwheat”.……. Apparently a few of the Lamar players were redshirting for the varsity team, to which Chris Thomas called bullshit, just to hear an unfortunately sad story about the politics of changing coaches……..Cristina Salesperson did not seem to like Pax Kaplan-Sherman. She nearly threw a knife at him. ………Additionally, after some of us at the Waffle House™  sneered at the prospect of sugar-free syrup, we learned Cristina Salesperson’s husband had type 1 diabetes………Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Bower for supporting us this weekend and providing some drinks! Also if you are reading this we have your Styrofoam cooler.


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